She wakes up

and stares around with amazement wondering "where the hell have I been". She feels like a squirrel that woke up early from hibernation. She woke to find the world changed. "what happened?" she wonders. Her face falls as she looks around at all of the faces she remembers are happy without her. She wonders if they remember her. She remembers happy, care-free loving faces. Her friends, who laughed and played with her as a child, have grown up. She just wants to go back to the times when they didn't have to worry about anything. Getting pregnant and drinking, smoking cigarettes and partying with guys? Where did this all come from? She remembers when swearing was naughty and playing with matches hurt. She looks at herself and finds changes that scare her. Its not the usual female changes that frighten her. It's the scars on her arms. There's X's and lines made of pure anger and hatred. Where. And why she asks herself. She wonders who did it. Then she remembers. Horrible memories of the past and present. Pain, sorrow hatred. Things she never remembers as a child. Like waking up from a bad dream with mom being there to comfort you. Well, here there is no mom. No daddy. There's a woman she doesn't know in place of Mama. Her daddy is gone. Daddy is married but not to Mama. She used to be happy. Shes scared. She gets up and walks around a house unfamiliar to her. Not a house, a trailer. It's sad and lonely. Dark and scary. She hears crying from a room far away and wonders who it is. She stands for a moment, listening to the small, weak sobs of a child. She walks back to the source of the cries. She pushes open a door. No, she thinks, That can't be Jake. The little boys she remembers smiling and laughing. Taking his first steps with her and watching Disney movies together. Where did it all go. Replaced by scars and fighting, love replaced with hatred and and anger, old friends mostly replaced with superficial robots with SLUT stamped across their forehead. Few people in this hole remind me of how good life used to be. I thank them now.