Help?

The words I'm longing to scream, longing to let flow. Help. More a question than an answer. Do I need help? Do I want help? No. I don't think these are the questions, as much as they are the answers. I can no longer hide the way I feel about anything. Nothing helps. Not anymore it doesn't. No sir, no ma'am. I don't even wnat to think about how many times I've tried to help myself and how many timies it's always backfired on me. It's all about take a stand or walk away. Well, what happens when taking a stand and walking away aren't options? What happens when the only thing that you are allowed to do is sit and cower in a corner until the beatings are over? What happens when you can't fight back and can't run away, can't hide? What happens when the last time was your last chance and there's no where left to go? What now?
Where do all the broken sould go and is there a place for people like me? I'm not broken, yet I'm not whole either. I wish I had a choice. I wish I could decide for myself and not have to base my decisions on who will get hurt if I do this or that. I wish I could be free of this everyday routine. This everyday procedure, almost as if I have to do it, or something awful will happen. I
Why? Not just why me, but why for all the other girsl and boys who have to live through torture. Just Why?